PhilosoFletch

Brought to you by The Warlock: Brought to you by The Warlock: Wild thing! *duh duh.. duh duh duh* You make my heart… well, explode if I did all the drugs you have. Kevin – $50 Justin – $50 Please pay before your teams get injured and you get angry… oh wait that’s just my team as of next Tuesday. I can tell the future. Two weeks into the 2011 season, and what have we learned so far? Steve Smith (the original) is back with a vengeance. AJ Green is running away with the offensive rookie of the year, and Julio Jones and Mark Ingram have a long way to go to catch up. He just looks legit right out of the gate, even with his crazy ginger QB. Kenny Britt is staying off drugs and making Hasselbeck look like Seattle really was that bad of a team last season. The top WR list looks ridiculous overall. I mean for fucks sake the #6 guy is Eric Decker. A white guy from Denver who somehow isn’t Ed McAffrey… Justin this is your notice to pick him up. C’mon you’re so close to having...

Holy crap I forgot Wayne's World... I ... don't deserve to live. Seriously what a great movie/sketch from SNL back when the movies SNL put out didn't completely and totally suck.  I'm looking at you "Superstar"... "Ladies Man"... others...

Seriously, I see all these blog posts, articles, etc. listing their top 25 of something or other all the time... so I'm just going to list my top comedies of all time in descending order and tell a quote/memory or two about each one.  Perhaps a favorite line, scene, where I was or who I was when I saw it... that sort of thing.  If anyone actually reads this thing let me know which classics I stupidly overlooked, or if there are movies you hate that made the list.  So I'm expecting maybe, 1 or 2 comments max.  Ha. 25)  Austin Powers - there was/is a running joke involving what I did while watching this movie at Sterling Ridge back in the day... that pretty much sums it up.  The 2 sequels were crap compared to the campy-ness and writing of the original. 24)  Trading Places - The beginning of every $1 bet joke ever 23)  The Naked Gun - a great spoof flick from the 80's when spoof flicks didn't completely and totally suck.  I remember being ...

I don't think there is much I hate more than being sick these days.  I still have to go to work, because it isn't acceptable to run home to mommy and tell her you feel terrible, have her take care of you all day, and miss work when you're 27.  I miss being 9.  One third of my current age was a much more blissful time in life.... but I digress, and badly at that. This week was a recovery from the weirdest/longest Friday night of my life, a great trip to Pittsburgh as the greatest spare tire, aka 5th wheel of all time, and then my body decided to shut down and let me catch a nasty cold that I awoke to Monday morning.  Nothing says "a case of the Mondays" like the inability to breathe through your nose and a sore throat.  Not only that, but the entire lack of energy I have this week while recovering was a nice cherry on top. Well despite my trauma inducing viral infection, I have survived the week and am ready for the weekend.  Which starts off, how else, ...

I just had to record this somewhere... because it is the first time I've ever seen Pandora play 6 straight "thumbs up" songs on my created station of awesomeness. Bowling for Soup - 'Girl All The Bad Guys Want' Matchbook Romance - 'Monsters' Rise Against - 'Re-Education Through Labor' American Hi-Fi - 'Flavor of the Week' Taking Back Sunday - 'This Photograph is Proof' Paramore - 'Miracle'

That is all..... no other words for this little comic strip.

Ok so I checked this movie out last night.  A few funny bits, decent flick overall, nothing spectacular.  However it illustrated what all guys know beyond a shadow of a doubt.  Once you are out of college it is 100 times easier for girls to get laid then guys.  Every girl out there has at least a dozen attractive guys willing to fuck them at the drop of a hat.  Every guy wants to fuck at least a dozen different women if they would let him, and the odds that one of them is willing are pretty damn low.  And yet women are the repressed, the overlooked, the disadvantaged?  C'mon.  What girl that is considered a "10" has ever had to work for anything her entire life?  Just be pretty, stay healthy, exist.  You'll make six figures without even trying.  Hell even most 9's don't have to do a whole lot.  That isn't entirely fair of course because some beautiful women are highly intelligent and don't WANT to just get by on their looks, bu...

Holy shit I'm scared of the end.  What happens to us when we die?  I don't mean heaven, hell, and all of that.  I understand many religions offer up a solution to this conundrum.  But let's all be honest and face the fact that we really have no fucking idea.  Basically we get a blank screen and the power goes out... scientifically speaking.  I am not religious and refuse to pretend to be just because I am suddenly fearful of death.  I'd love to believe we have a soul, energy, or that we just go into a dream state when we die forever... but let's face it... reality says the lights go out and that's that.  Ugh.  This is what keeps me up at night these days... fear. If I died in a few months, some horrible accident or whatever, what it the legacy I leave behind?  Alone. Slightly successful.  Never lived up to his 'potential.'  Slightly out of shape/in shape.  Hell I have no idea... I decided to use this whole "brain puke" t...

Sexy Four Square That is one of the funniest things I've seen in a long time, brought to you by the folks at College Humor. Hilarious stuff. Meanwhile I'm listening to Search the City again, "Ambulance Chaser" to be exact. Not sure what it is, I guess all the media hype and advertising that makes us all feel the need to not be alone on this fantastic Monday. Honestly, I don't give a fuck. It has been so damn long at this point I'm just living my life and waiting for love or sex or whatever to find me. Work til 5, WVU game at 7, soccer game at 8, tv shows to watch, makers mark and some ice. What else does one need on a Monday in February? I've tried calculating an answer... but it never works (from XKCD) Useless ... so it goes...

Ok so maybe it is all the tv, movies, and other media sources that sort of glorified the 1930's mafia scene, but wouldn't that have been an interesting time to live? Other than the crippling depression, shortage of necessities like food, clean water, work, and shelter... I can't imagine how it wouldn't have been just a blast. Give me a 1930's Ford that weighed so much it couldn't break 40 mph, a few tommy guns, a couple of suckers, er, friends... and of course a slew of underground alcohol trafficking connections, and I'd be set. That is until someone inevitably turned on me for the money, stole my woman, and shot me in the back. Perhaps it's best I stick to accounting and xbox for now. Maybe in a few years I'll give the gangster life a try if this doesn't work out for some reason. I hear Vegas hasn't changed all that much... ...so it goes...

When you're on the interstate, and it's snowing out... I believe it is perfectly acceptable to wish death upon the person in front of you if they are driving like an idiot. Five miles per hour is not an acceptable interstate speed under any circumstances. After shaving off your beard, it will inevitably feel like icicles are hitting you in the face the moment you walk outside if it is January. The life of the wife was ended by the knife. Stewie: How do you not know that your reflection in the patio door isn't another dog? Brian: Hey, that guy is a dick. Peter: Chris, how are all your friends at school? Chris: What do you care, you don't even know who my friends are. Peter: Sure I do... Chandler... Fonzy... and Remington Steele? Chris: You got lucky, dad. Archer: One, three times! But it's the pope's fault she won't let me wear a condom. Valerie: Why don't you wear a vasectomy! Archer: This again, don't you want a grandkid? Valer...

Banky Edwards: Alright, now see this? This is a four-way road, okay? And dead in the center is a crisp, new, hundred dollar bill. Now, at the end of each of these streets are four people, okay? You following? Holden: Yeah. Banky Edwards: Good. Over here, we have a male-affectionate, easy to get along with, non-political agenda lesbian. Down here, we have a man-hating, angry as fuck, agenda of rage, bitter dyke. Over here, we got Santa Claus, and up here the Easter Bunny. Which one is going to get to the hundred dollar bill first? Holden: What is this supposed to prove? Banky Edwards: No, I'm serious. This is a serious exercise. It's like an SAT question. Which one is going to get to the hundred dollar bill first? The male-friendly lesbian, the man-hating dyke, Santa Claus, or the Easter bunny? Holden: The man-hating dyke. Banky Edwards: Good. Why? Holden: I don't know. Banky Edwards: [shouting] Because the other three are figments of your fucking imagination! Aly...