PhilosoFletch

Ok so maybe it is all the tv, movies, and other media sources that sort of glorified the 1930's mafia scene, but wouldn't that have been an interesting time to live? Other than the crippling depression, shortage of necessities like food, clean water, work, and shelter... I can't imagine how it wouldn't have been just a blast. Give me a 1930's Ford that weighed so much it couldn't break 40 mph, a few tommy guns, a couple of suckers, er, friends... and of course a slew of underground alcohol trafficking connections, and I'd be set. That is until someone inevitably turned on me for the money, stole my woman, and shot me in the back. Perhaps it's best I stick to accounting and xbox for now. Maybe in a few years I'll give the gangster life a try if this doesn't work out for some reason. I hear Vegas hasn't changed all that much... ...so it goes...

When you're on the interstate, and it's snowing out... I believe it is perfectly acceptable to wish death upon the person in front of you if they are driving like an idiot. Five miles per hour is not an acceptable interstate speed under any circumstances. After shaving off your beard, it will inevitably feel like icicles are hitting you in the face the moment you walk outside if it is January. The life of the wife was ended by the knife. Stewie: How do you not know that your reflection in the patio door isn't another dog? Brian: Hey, that guy is a dick. Peter: Chris, how are all your friends at school? Chris: What do you care, you don't even know who my friends are. Peter: Sure I do... Chandler... Fonzy... and Remington Steele? Chris: You got lucky, dad. Archer: One, three times! But it's the pope's fault she won't let me wear a condom. Valerie: Why don't you wear a vasectomy! Archer: This again, don't you want a grandkid? Valer...

Banky Edwards: Alright, now see this? This is a four-way road, okay? And dead in the center is a crisp, new, hundred dollar bill. Now, at the end of each of these streets are four people, okay? You following? Holden: Yeah. Banky Edwards: Good. Over here, we have a male-affectionate, easy to get along with, non-political agenda lesbian. Down here, we have a man-hating, angry as fuck, agenda of rage, bitter dyke. Over here, we got Santa Claus, and up here the Easter Bunny. Which one is going to get to the hundred dollar bill first? Holden: What is this supposed to prove? Banky Edwards: No, I'm serious. This is a serious exercise. It's like an SAT question. Which one is going to get to the hundred dollar bill first? The male-friendly lesbian, the man-hating dyke, Santa Claus, or the Easter bunny? Holden: The man-hating dyke. Banky Edwards: Good. Why? Holden: I don't know. Banky Edwards: [shouting] Because the other three are figments of your fucking imagination! Aly...